Emotional Intelligence: EQ vs. EI vs. IQ

Emotional Intelligence: EI vs. EQ vs. IQ

In the early 1900s people searching for a predictor of success settled on Intelligence Quotient or IQ.  It seemed reasonable that more intelligence would: 1) open doors such as advanced education required for certain high prestige careers and 2) provide a means to figure out the secrets of success.  Throughout the century, better tests and a wider variety of tests were created to more accurately predict success.  The SAT was created to predict success in college, MSAT in management curriculum and LSAT in law school.  Some tests were designed to differentiate between IQs of 70 and 80, others between 90 and 110 and others between 135 and 145.  Each test had its special purpose, its supporters and its detractors.

But it became clear that while IQ was important, there were other factors that were perhaps even more important.  Studies in the 1980s and 1990s showed that there was less than a 25% correlation between IQ and career success.  We have all heard of taxi drivers with Ph.D.s and company presidents who cannot create coherent sentences.  Stories abound that show wasted capability such as a person who scored very high on IQ tests, worked as a bouncer in a bar, parked his Harley motorcycle in his kitchen and read Greek and Latin classics in their original language.

We now know that there are many factors that affect success.  The one I wish to focus on is emotional quotient (EQ).  Today’s literature calls it “emotional intelligence” and abbreviates it “EQ.”  For two reasons, I believe the term Emotional Quotient is more appropriate than Emotional Intelligence.  First, the discussions center around the difference between intelligence (ability to reason) and emotion so I believe combining the terms emotional and intelligence may lead to confusion.  Second, if we see emotional as an adjective and intelligence as a noun, it means a cognitive understanding of emotions, while the literature usually refers to the identifying, feeling and using emotions.

For example:  In the past, we may have bought products based on the characteristic of the product.  Today, with so many variations on products that can satisfy our need – frequently manufactured by the same company and packaged differently for different resellers – we have moved to relationship buying.  We do not buy from someone we do not trust or like.  We are much more likely to buy from someone we trust and like.  Thus a person who has a high ability to recognize, identify and feel emotions in him/herself and others (high EQ) will become a more successful salesperson.

People with high EQ will have more friends and mentors in companies and thus advance faster than a person of equal (or perhaps greater) IQ.

Likewise, people with high EQ will be better liked and more appreciated in the community or in politics and be able to solicit more backers for their proposals.

Some careers require a high IQ just to get into the career.  A study was done of 80 scientists with Ph.D. degrees and it was found that an IQ of about 120 was required to get into their program in college, but ten of fifteen more points of IQ did not predict their eventual success compared to others.  Those with a higher EQ enjoyed more success.  A conclusion from this study was that IQ set a floor or threshold for entry into the career, but that once that threshold was met, EQ determined the eventual success.

The benefit, if EQ a greater indicator of life success than IQ, is that EQ can be modified through a program of directed learning.  Regardless of your IQ or current level of success, you can increase your EQ and thus increase your life success.  You truly are the master of your destiny.

Goal Achieving: Discovering Your Passion

Goal Achieving:  Discovering Your Passion

It is much easier to continuing working toward your goal, even in the face of obstacles, if your goal is one of your passions.  But how do you know your passions?

Method 1:  What you talk about.

For a week or two, keep track of what you talk about with your friends and what you do with your free time.  Do not include conversations of activities in which you have little or no control, such as activities at work or conversations dictated by your school.  At the end of the time, review your lists and rank activities and conversations for frequency.  Those items that have scored the highest are probably passions.

Method 2:  Your 100^th birthday speech.

Pretend you are now 100 years old.  Give a speech to your friends and neighbors about what you learned in life and what events or activities have given you the greatest pride.  Those events or activities are probably passions.

Method 3:  Your eulogy.

Pretend you have just passed away and you are listening to your best friends giving your eulogy.  What do you want them to say?  It may be something that you have not yet accomplished but want to be remembered for having done.  That what you wish to be remembered for is probably a passion.

Method 4:  Your epitaph.

Pretend you have passed away.  What do you want on your headstone as your epitaph?  This one is “get to the point with a few words.”  What you want to be remembered for with your epitaph is probably a passion.

It may be necessary to change the method used after you start, and it may be necessary to work on one method for several days or weeks.  Keep at it until you are satisfied that you are honest and complete in your answer.

Which ever method or methods you use, you now have an idea of what is important to you and have an idea of your passion or several of them.  Write a S.M.A.R.T. objective to support each passion.

If your passion is to be a good family man, your objective may be a process objective such as, “Spend 20 minutes with each child each day.”  An outcome objective may be, “Ensure son Jim reaches his objective of achieving the Eagle Scout award.”

If your passion is to own a large house on 160 acres, your objective may be, “By December, 2012, I will own a 4000 square foot or larger house on 160 acres.”  A subordinate goal may be, “By January 31, 2010, I will have a plan in place to achieve the house goal.”

Knowing what is important to you (your passion) and building your goals and objectives to support that passion will go a long way in achieving your goals.

Good luck in 2010 and beyond.

Business and Personal Development: Setting Goals

To achieve your goals you must first set the proper goals.  If you have set goals or objectives in the past, only to have them slip away unachieved, please continue reading this.

Of course our goals must be S.M.A.R.T. for Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Timely.  This is the subject of a future blog.

Discover Your Passion

To start, you must identify your passion.  This is what you:

• talk about when you have the opportunity,

• read about or study on your own or

• do on your free time.

To discover your passion, for about two weeks record the subject of your conversations, books or magazines read and activities.   Do not record conversations, reading and activities in which you engage because you must such as school assignments, employment or legal requirements.  At the end of the two weeks, you should have a good idea of how you spend your discretionary time and efforts.

Some people have many passions and bounce from project to project.  If this describes you, choose one or two passions that have a high importance to you for the coming year and work with them.

Set Your Goals

With your passion discovered, write goals to support that passion.  For instance, if your passion is to work with disadvantaged people, your goal may be to get a degree in social work or to volunteer at the homeless shelter.  If you passion is travel, your goal may be to visit three new countries in the coming year or to visit all 50 states.  If your passion is flying, your goal may be to get a pilot’s license or to purchase an airplane.  If your passion is earning money your goal may be to make your current annual income a monthly income.

Discover Your Governing Values

Make a list of your governing values.  These would be things like Truth, Freedom, Family, Spirituality, Health, Wealth, Obedience.  Prioritize the list by comparing the first two items and moving the higher priority to be above the other item.  Then do this for the next two.  Keep doing this, going through the list several times until all the items are in proper order.  As an example if the first two items on your list are truth and freedom, you may ask, “Would I lie to keep from going to jail?”  If “Yes,” then freedom is a higher priority, if “No,” then truth is a higher priority.

Apply Your Governing Values

Now compare your goals to your governing values.  Where there is a conflict, the goal will lose.  If necessary, adjust your goal to eliminate the conflict.  An example would be that if your goals require that you work 80 hours per week and a high priority value is family, you will need to adjust your goal or get your family’s acceptance of that goal for you.

Keep the three lists (passions, goals, governing values) together where you can see them daily or more frequently.  Your goals are where you are going because of your passion, but controlled by your governing values.

Develop Your Action Plan

Many of the example goals and the goals you may choose will require sub-goals.  For example, to make your annual income your monthly income may require sub-goals of: 1) research alternative methods of getting income and select the best one or two for me, 2) get the education or training necessary to become successful in my new endeavors, 3) create a business plan and 4) execute the business plan.  As you write each of your sub-goals, be sure to make them    S.M.A.R.T. goals

For each of your goals or sub-goals create an action plan that will take you from where you are to where you need to be, including milestone checkpoints to track your progress and adjust your action plan as necessary.

Goal achieving is the subject of a future blog.

Good Luck on setting ACHIEVABLE goals.

7 Negative Emotions, 7 Positive Emotions

7 Negative Emotions / 7 Positive Emotions

Napoleon Hill, in his book Think and Grow Rich, published in 1937, listed seven negative emotions to avoid if you want to achieve success. The emotions are:
Jealousy,
Anger,
Greed,
Fear,
Hatred,
Revenge and
Superstition.

I have studied this list, written about the emotions, discussed them in study groups and reflected at length on them. On the question of which is most important, most powerful, or the worst in terms of business success, I have heard powerful arguments for each one. The selection seems to be determined by which emotion a person has recently experienced, either internally or he or she has been the recipient of acts caused by the emotion in another person. Careful reflection will reveal that any one, alone or in conjunction with others, will be fatal to business success or personal success.

We need to eliminate all of those negative emotions, but if we just eliminate them, there will be a vacuum. We must fill that vacuum with the seven positive emotions. Again, Napoleon Hill gives us his list.
Desire
Faith
Love
Sex
Enthusiasm
Romance
Hope

He states that there are other positive emotions but they could be classified under the above list.

If we do not use the positive emotions, the vacuum will be filled by the negative emotions because we are constantly bombarded by them from news, society, entertainment, friends, family and co-workers.

As with a muscle, using emotions strengthens them. The more we feel an emotion, the stronger it becomes.

To take control of your emotions and build the positive emotions, focus on a positive emotion such as desire. What do you desire? How will you feel when you have the object? Feel good about it. Hold that desire and feeling for at least 30 seconds. Do this for the same emotion for 21 days then move to another positive emotion.

When you feel any negative emotion, stop, acknowledge it, and dismiss the emotion. Do not bury it, just let it go. For example if you get angry at other people, it causes you to feel bad, waste time and mental power thinking about that anger, develop stomach acid and make poor decisions – but all the anger you direct at other people does nothing to them. They probably do not even know you are angry at them, and if they did know, probably do not care. Your anger at other people hurts you and does not affect them at all.

Developing the positive emotions is very good for two reasons: 1) they replace the negative emotions, but more important, 2) they are the path to success.

Develop your positive emotions and have a successful 2010!

Hugh Curley

How Does a Leader Lead

How does a leader lead?

The best definition of a leader, in my opinion, is a person who has a vision and can communicate that vision to organize followers to help him or her reach that vision. To be a leader, you must:

1) have someplace to go (your vision),

2) have followers, and

3) organize those followers to help you reach your vision.

I believe leaders follow a five step process. These steps are as follows.

Step 1. Have a vision or dream. You cannot lead someone if you do not know where you are going. Your destination must be clear in your mind and you must be able to define or describe it clearly in few words. You must be completely committed to the realization of this dream or the obstacles you encounter will de-rail you. It must be your dream and not someone else’s dream or something you think is a “good idea.”

Dreams can be like acorns. They must be nourished until they can grow into mighty oak trees. Please see my blog post on this subject. (hcurley.wordpress.com)

A person in a position of authority but with no vision MAY be a manager, but is not a leader. Please see my blog post on the differences between leaders and managers.

Step 2. Communicate your vision to attract like minded individuals. People will step forward to help you reach your vision only if they know about it. Therefore, communicate your dream clearly and frequently in venues where like minded people are likely to listen. Do not get into arguments, (a man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still), but put forth your vision clearly and strongly.

If people present issues you have not considered, or for which you have no answers, work on being able to answer these issues in the future. If people present issues that divert you from your vision, ask yourself if this is really your dream.

Step 3. Surround yourself with people who see your dream. You will need the following groups with each group of a size determined by the size of your dream.

To lead your self, use your head. To lead others, use your heart.

Master mind group – Your Board of Directors, mentors and other guiding individuals that you meet with at least weekly.

Other leaders – Your lieutenants who will lead others toward your dream in your absence. These lieutenants may be in charge of different aspects of reaching your vision (such as fund raising, media relations, government relations, etc), in other geographic areas or covering different shifts. Strong managers may also fill these roles.

Strong followers – These are people who will do your bidding because they believe in you or your cause, but cannot or will not train or guide others. These are the people who go door-to-door to spread your ideas, for example. Managers may also fill these roles.

Other followers – These people will perform non-leadership or non-management tasks but do not have the strong understanding of your dream. These are the people you would use to stuff envelopes, for example.

Do not be afraid to use people who are smarter, stronger or more aggressive than you; they will make you smarter, stronger and more aggressive.

Step 4. Communicate your vision to keep your followers on track. This is a never ending process. Use posters, meetings, e-mail, web-broadcasts, etc. to keep your people focused. The most important communication is through a good example.

If you notice that steps 2 and 4 are both about communication you have discovered that the most important function of leadership is communication: first to find people with similar direction to you and then to keep them focused.

Step 5. Follow the mechanics of leadership. You can learn the mechanics of leadership from Toastmastes, college courses, leadership books, books on leaders, observation, and trail and error.

A partial list of mechanics of leadership is: communication, delegation, follow-up, develop/train followers, action and persistence.

Planning is probably a leadership role, implementing the plan is probably a management role.

As you study leadership and are building your plans, at some point you must stop planning and start executing. Leaders believe “the sooner the better.” ACT NOW!

Difference between Leader and Manager

What is the difference between a leader and a manager?

My dictionary gives a definition of leader as “one that leads or guides.” It then defines leads as “To show the way” and “To guide or direct in a course.” The same dictionary defines manager as “one who handles, control, or directs.”

As I study those definitions, I come to understand that both leader and manager follow the common English meaning of the words. A leader has a destination and has gathered a following that the leader is taking to that destination. A leader “leads” his or her followers to the leader’s destination. A manager, on the other hand, follows procedures to maintain the status quo or controls people and situations to reach someone else’s goals.

We need both in a fully functioning society – leaders to set direction and goals and managers to maintain control in reaching the goals and to maintain the benefits of reaching the goal.

Which are you? Where do your past activities place you? What do your desires indicate is the proper role for you in the future? How willing are you to take chances?

The following chart may help differentiate leaders and managers. Please add additional items in the comments section.

Leaders	Managers
Are controlled by a vision	Are controlled by procedures
Willing to take larger risks	More risk averse
Are people oriented	Are procedure oriented
Desires to explorer new thoughts	Desires to maintain the status quo
Willing to go-it-alone	Desires ratification or confirmation from peers or superiors.
Communicates dreams, right brain	Communicates processes, left brain
Supports followers	Supports established practices
Not easily swayed from destination, and if swayed, will quickly return.	How we get there is more important than where we are going.
Start companies or take companies through changes.	Join companies after the company is established.
Frustrated by highly established companies	Frustrated by highly dynamic companies

Acorn to Oak Tree

Acorn to Oak Tree

When I was in sixth grade, I found an acorn while walking home from school. I planted it in a small can and took care of it. I ensured it had just the right amount of water and sunlight. When it outgrew its small can, I transplanted it to a larger can – always taking care of it because it was so fragile. Later, I planted it outside in a carefully chosen place. Unfortunately, the rabbits ate its leaves, so I placed a fence around the small, young tree.

That was years ago, and now that oak tree has a strength that I could never hope to achieve. My grand children can play in its limbs and swing from it.

The acorn to oak tree analogy applied to ideas.

When you first conceive an idea, it is tender and fragile. You must nourish the idea and ensure it has just the right amount of care. Later, as it grows stronger, it will take on a life of its own and, in fact, will start to control you.

Be careful of what ideas you plant in your sub-conscious or in the sub-conscious of those around you.

When we were young, well-meaning individuals may have planted negative and limiting ideas in our sub-conscious. Those ideas grew in strength and now control how we think and behave. But as adults, it is our responsibility to replace those old, negative and limiting ideas with new, positive and expanding ones of our own. Our new ideas will be like the acorn and need nourishment and care for a while, but then, like the oak tree, they will take on a life of their own.

The acorn to oak tree analogy applied to MLM companies.

When you sponsor a new person in your downline, that person is fragile in that position. Their income from the position is small, their loyalty to the company is weak, their knowledge of the product and compensation plan is only beginning; they are much like the acorn. They need you to nourish them and train them. As they become established, their income increases and their understanding of the product, company and compensation structure expands, and they become a much stronger agent. Perhaps even stronger than you. When they reach that point, the amount of nourishment and care they need will be much less, and they will be nourishing and caring for their own downline.