Emotional Intelligence: EQ vs. EI vs. IQ

Emotional Intelligence: EI vs. EQ vs. IQ

In the early 1900s people searching for a predictor of success settled on Intelligence Quotient or IQ.  It seemed reasonable that more intelligence would: 1) open doors such as advanced education required for certain high prestige careers and 2) provide a means to figure out the secrets of success.  Throughout the century, better tests and a wider variety of tests were created to more accurately predict success.  The SAT was created to predict success in college, MSAT in management curriculum and LSAT in law school.  Some tests were designed to differentiate between IQs of 70 and 80, others between 90 and 110 and others between 135 and 145.  Each test had its special purpose, its supporters and its detractors.

But it became clear that while IQ was important, there were other factors that were perhaps even more important.  Studies in the 1980s and 1990s showed that there was less than a 25% correlation between IQ and career success.  We have all heard of taxi drivers with Ph.D.s and company presidents who cannot create coherent sentences.  Stories abound that show wasted capability such as a person who scored very high on IQ tests, worked as a bouncer in a bar, parked his Harley motorcycle in his kitchen and read Greek and Latin classics in their original language.

We now know that there are many factors that affect success.  The one I wish to focus on is emotional quotient (EQ).  Today’s literature calls it “emotional intelligence” and abbreviates it “EQ.”  For two reasons, I believe the term Emotional Quotient is more appropriate than Emotional Intelligence.  First, the discussions center around the difference between intelligence (ability to reason) and emotion so I believe combining the terms emotional and intelligence may lead to confusion.  Second, if we see emotional as an adjective and intelligence as a noun, it means a cognitive understanding of emotions, while the literature usually refers to the identifying, feeling and using emotions.

For example:  In the past, we may have bought products based on the characteristic of the product.  Today, with so many variations on products that can satisfy our need – frequently manufactured by the same company and packaged differently for different resellers – we have moved to relationship buying.  We do not buy from someone we do not trust or like.  We are much more likely to buy from someone we trust and like.  Thus a person who has a high ability to recognize, identify and feel emotions in him/herself and others (high EQ) will become a more successful salesperson.

People with high EQ will have more friends and mentors in companies and thus advance faster than a person of equal (or perhaps greater) IQ.

Likewise, people with high EQ will be better liked and more appreciated in the community or in politics and be able to solicit more backers for their proposals.

Some careers require a high IQ just to get into the career.  A study was done of 80 scientists with Ph.D. degrees and it was found that an IQ of about 120 was required to get into their program in college, but ten of fifteen more points of IQ did not predict their eventual success compared to others.  Those with a higher EQ enjoyed more success.  A conclusion from this study was that IQ set a floor or threshold for entry into the career, but that once that threshold was met, EQ determined the eventual success.

The benefit, if EQ a greater indicator of life success than IQ, is that EQ can be modified through a program of directed learning.  Regardless of your IQ or current level of success, you can increase your EQ and thus increase your life success.  You truly are the master of your destiny.

Goal Achieving: Discovering Your Passion

Goal Achieving:  Discovering Your Passion

It is much easier to continuing working toward your goal, even in the face of obstacles, if your goal is one of your passions.  But how do you know your passions?

Method 1:  What you talk about.

For a week or two, keep track of what you talk about with your friends and what you do with your free time.  Do not include conversations of activities in which you have little or no control, such as activities at work or conversations dictated by your school.  At the end of the time, review your lists and rank activities and conversations for frequency.  Those items that have scored the highest are probably passions.

Method 2:  Your 100^th birthday speech.

Pretend you are now 100 years old.  Give a speech to your friends and neighbors about what you learned in life and what events or activities have given you the greatest pride.  Those events or activities are probably passions.

Method 3:  Your eulogy.

Pretend you have just passed away and you are listening to your best friends giving your eulogy.  What do you want them to say?  It may be something that you have not yet accomplished but want to be remembered for having done.  That what you wish to be remembered for is probably a passion.

Method 4:  Your epitaph.

Pretend you have passed away.  What do you want on your headstone as your epitaph?  This one is “get to the point with a few words.”  What you want to be remembered for with your epitaph is probably a passion.

It may be necessary to change the method used after you start, and it may be necessary to work on one method for several days or weeks.  Keep at it until you are satisfied that you are honest and complete in your answer.

Which ever method or methods you use, you now have an idea of what is important to you and have an idea of your passion or several of them.  Write a S.M.A.R.T. objective to support each passion.

If your passion is to be a good family man, your objective may be a process objective such as, “Spend 20 minutes with each child each day.”  An outcome objective may be, “Ensure son Jim reaches his objective of achieving the Eagle Scout award.”

If your passion is to own a large house on 160 acres, your objective may be, “By December, 2012, I will own a 4000 square foot or larger house on 160 acres.”  A subordinate goal may be, “By January 31, 2010, I will have a plan in place to achieve the house goal.”

Knowing what is important to you (your passion) and building your goals and objectives to support that passion will go a long way in achieving your goals.

Good luck in 2010 and beyond.

I Cannot Do It All Myself

I Cannot Do It All Myself

Monday a.m. – Make a list of things to do; put the items into three groups A (critical), B (important) and C (nice to get done); prioritize the “A’s”, and start with the A1 task. Monday evening, I know that I worked on the most important things – but I did not come close to accomplishing what was necessary. Tuesday, it will be the same thing all over again with more items on my to-do-list.

I would hire someone to share my workload except for three reasons: 1) no budget for another person on staff, 2) it takes a lot of time (which I do not have) to hire someone and 3) it takes a lot of time (which I do not have) to train someone.

It is a good thing I am a man because when I pull all of my hair out in frustration, I can attribute it to male pattern baldness.

But there is a better way. After you prioritize your tasks, start at the top and decide who should do each one. Remember to do what you do best and hire out the rest.

If you are a consultant or coach, any task that is not consulting, coaching or client contact should be delegated to outside experts. That means that you should let: 1) a real estate agent find that new office for you after you give her your requirements, 2) an accounting firm do your books and billing, 3) a web design expert design and run your web site and 4) a sales professional make your cold calls.

If you are a speaker anything that is not speaking, content creation or reputation building should be delegated to outside experts. Let someone else who knows how and has the professional equipment duplicate your CDs.

Even outside your business the principle applies equally. I used to repair my own car – to the extent of rebuilding the engine; now I take it to the dealer. We have a cleaning service clean our house monthly (kids are married). Hire a lawn care service to take care of your yard so you have the time to have fun. If you enjoy the task and have time, do it. If you do not enjoy it, hire it done.

Please remember that “delegate” does not mean you abdicate your responsibility in the areas of timeliness and quality. It is your business so be sure your outside experts are aware of your schedule and quality requirements. If they do not meet your expectations – do not micromanage them (remember, you do not have enough time) – replace them. As you move forward in your business building, you will create more and more solid business relationships with the outside experts and can focus on doing what you do best and like the most.

7 Negative Emotions, 7 Positive Emotions

7 Negative Emotions / 7 Positive Emotions

Napoleon Hill, in his book Think and Grow Rich, published in 1937, listed seven negative emotions to avoid if you want to achieve success. The emotions are:
Jealousy,
Anger,
Greed,
Fear,
Hatred,
Revenge and
Superstition.

I have studied this list, written about the emotions, discussed them in study groups and reflected at length on them. On the question of which is most important, most powerful, or the worst in terms of business success, I have heard powerful arguments for each one. The selection seems to be determined by which emotion a person has recently experienced, either internally or he or she has been the recipient of acts caused by the emotion in another person. Careful reflection will reveal that any one, alone or in conjunction with others, will be fatal to business success or personal success.

We need to eliminate all of those negative emotions, but if we just eliminate them, there will be a vacuum. We must fill that vacuum with the seven positive emotions. Again, Napoleon Hill gives us his list.
Desire
Faith
Love
Sex
Enthusiasm
Romance
Hope

He states that there are other positive emotions but they could be classified under the above list.

If we do not use the positive emotions, the vacuum will be filled by the negative emotions because we are constantly bombarded by them from news, society, entertainment, friends, family and co-workers.

As with a muscle, using emotions strengthens them. The more we feel an emotion, the stronger it becomes.

To take control of your emotions and build the positive emotions, focus on a positive emotion such as desire. What do you desire? How will you feel when you have the object? Feel good about it. Hold that desire and feeling for at least 30 seconds. Do this for the same emotion for 21 days then move to another positive emotion.

When you feel any negative emotion, stop, acknowledge it, and dismiss the emotion. Do not bury it, just let it go. For example if you get angry at other people, it causes you to feel bad, waste time and mental power thinking about that anger, develop stomach acid and make poor decisions – but all the anger you direct at other people does nothing to them. They probably do not even know you are angry at them, and if they did know, probably do not care. Your anger at other people hurts you and does not affect them at all.

Developing the positive emotions is very good for two reasons: 1) they replace the negative emotions, but more important, 2) they are the path to success.

Develop your positive emotions and have a successful 2010!

Hugh Curley

How Does a Leader Lead

How does a leader lead?

The best definition of a leader, in my opinion, is a person who has a vision and can communicate that vision to organize followers to help him or her reach that vision. To be a leader, you must:

1) have someplace to go (your vision),

2) have followers, and

3) organize those followers to help you reach your vision.

I believe leaders follow a five step process. These steps are as follows.

Step 1. Have a vision or dream. You cannot lead someone if you do not know where you are going. Your destination must be clear in your mind and you must be able to define or describe it clearly in few words. You must be completely committed to the realization of this dream or the obstacles you encounter will de-rail you. It must be your dream and not someone else’s dream or something you think is a “good idea.”

Dreams can be like acorns. They must be nourished until they can grow into mighty oak trees. Please see my blog post on this subject. (hcurley.wordpress.com)

A person in a position of authority but with no vision MAY be a manager, but is not a leader. Please see my blog post on the differences between leaders and managers.

Step 2. Communicate your vision to attract like minded individuals. People will step forward to help you reach your vision only if they know about it. Therefore, communicate your dream clearly and frequently in venues where like minded people are likely to listen. Do not get into arguments, (a man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still), but put forth your vision clearly and strongly.

If people present issues you have not considered, or for which you have no answers, work on being able to answer these issues in the future. If people present issues that divert you from your vision, ask yourself if this is really your dream.

Step 3. Surround yourself with people who see your dream. You will need the following groups with each group of a size determined by the size of your dream.

To lead your self, use your head. To lead others, use your heart.

Master mind group – Your Board of Directors, mentors and other guiding individuals that you meet with at least weekly.

Other leaders – Your lieutenants who will lead others toward your dream in your absence. These lieutenants may be in charge of different aspects of reaching your vision (such as fund raising, media relations, government relations, etc), in other geographic areas or covering different shifts. Strong managers may also fill these roles.

Strong followers – These are people who will do your bidding because they believe in you or your cause, but cannot or will not train or guide others. These are the people who go door-to-door to spread your ideas, for example. Managers may also fill these roles.

Other followers – These people will perform non-leadership or non-management tasks but do not have the strong understanding of your dream. These are the people you would use to stuff envelopes, for example.

Do not be afraid to use people who are smarter, stronger or more aggressive than you; they will make you smarter, stronger and more aggressive.

Step 4. Communicate your vision to keep your followers on track. This is a never ending process. Use posters, meetings, e-mail, web-broadcasts, etc. to keep your people focused. The most important communication is through a good example.

If you notice that steps 2 and 4 are both about communication you have discovered that the most important function of leadership is communication: first to find people with similar direction to you and then to keep them focused.

Step 5. Follow the mechanics of leadership. You can learn the mechanics of leadership from Toastmastes, college courses, leadership books, books on leaders, observation, and trail and error.

A partial list of mechanics of leadership is: communication, delegation, follow-up, develop/train followers, action and persistence.

Planning is probably a leadership role, implementing the plan is probably a management role.

As you study leadership and are building your plans, at some point you must stop planning and start executing. Leaders believe “the sooner the better.” ACT NOW!

Difference between Leader and Manager

What is the difference between a leader and a manager?

My dictionary gives a definition of leader as “one that leads or guides.” It then defines leads as “To show the way” and “To guide or direct in a course.” The same dictionary defines manager as “one who handles, control, or directs.”

As I study those definitions, I come to understand that both leader and manager follow the common English meaning of the words. A leader has a destination and has gathered a following that the leader is taking to that destination. A leader “leads” his or her followers to the leader’s destination. A manager, on the other hand, follows procedures to maintain the status quo or controls people and situations to reach someone else’s goals.

We need both in a fully functioning society – leaders to set direction and goals and managers to maintain control in reaching the goals and to maintain the benefits of reaching the goal.

Which are you? Where do your past activities place you? What do your desires indicate is the proper role for you in the future? How willing are you to take chances?

The following chart may help differentiate leaders and managers. Please add additional items in the comments section.

Leaders	Managers
Are controlled by a vision	Are controlled by procedures
Willing to take larger risks	More risk averse
Are people oriented	Are procedure oriented
Desires to explorer new thoughts	Desires to maintain the status quo
Willing to go-it-alone	Desires ratification or confirmation from peers or superiors.
Communicates dreams, right brain	Communicates processes, left brain
Supports followers	Supports established practices
Not easily swayed from destination, and if swayed, will quickly return.	How we get there is more important than where we are going.
Start companies or take companies through changes.	Join companies after the company is established.
Frustrated by highly established companies	Frustrated by highly dynamic companies